Blunderbuss

American Idol: My Top Twelve (In Order)

(crossposted at Flaring Muzzle)

How to rank them? I'm basing this not strictly on the talent of the performers, but on the likelihood that I would actually shell out $$ for one of their albums (something I have yet to do for any Idol winner).

1. Bucky Covington - he might not technically be the best singer in the competition, but I love his voice. If he were packaged correctly (alt rock/country), I would buy.

2. Mandissa - I don't care whether she was "a bit pitchy" during her "Cry" performance or not. That song was a knockout and so's Mandissa. I would buy.

3. Elliott Yamin - unbelievable voice, but could Idol package him in a way that wouldn't nauseate me? Unlikely. He won't win, but he will have a career, so here's my advice for Elliott: don't let them strangle you with horrible Disney songs. They may win Academy Awards, but they suck hard. If his material is as amazing as his voice, I probably would buy.

4. Lisa Tucker - The Next Natalie Cole. She will sell records, and she should. I've really enjoyed her performances. Chances are, I'd probably buy.

5. Chris Daughtry - the favorite to win, and I'm impressed by his performances, but he's a front man for a band, not a solo artist. Also, I'm not much of a straight-up rock fan. I wish him well, but probably wouldn't shell out.

6. Melissa McGhee - smokey, sexy voice, but lacking a bit in the charisma department. I've enjoyed all of her performances, but I'm not sure they've convinced me that I'd actually shell out for an album.

7. Ace Young - Umm, what to say about Ace? He's a marketing dream, he has an okay voice, and his doe-eyed, carefully rehearsed, "confessional" spots about his "beanie" and other personal trivia make me want to vomit. Still, once he gives the family-friendly act-a-thon a rest and with an interesting set of producers behind him, he might almost be bearable. If he wins, though, we'll all have to live through at least a couple of years of excruciating schlock before really getting to know this cat.

8. Paris Bennett - what's not to like? Not sure I'd buy, though.

9. Kellie Pickler - talented, adorable, and sexy--but enough with the Southern Country girls already!

10. Katharine McPhee - great voice, could be a hot pop artist. I might buy her album if she went in a Kelly Clarkson direction. But, then again, I didn't buy Kelly's album. If they make her a chanteuse, however, there's no chance at all. There's something that bugs me about this girl--and I don't just mean her mother.

11. Taylor Hicks - the man is undeniably talented, but... Dissing Taylor is sort of like kicking a puppy, but I just cannot STAND his euphoric whoops, grins, and autoerotic hugging. The Rain Man has his fans and will do just fine. He certainly deserves to be in the top 12. I wish him well--just...somewhere far away from my TV screen.

12. Kinnik Sky - barely hanging on, but potentially more watchable (and listenable) than any of the other holdouts: Ayla Brown, Will Makar, Kevin Covais, and Gedeon McKinney. The rest of this lot just don't do it for me.

posted by albatross @ 1:02 PM